MONTHLY PORTRAIT: twelve months

Josephine's Monthly Portrait. Taken in her nursery on the 18th of every month.

One year old today. I can hardly believe it. This time last year, we were snuggling up in bed together on the first day of this amazing journey. It was a cold night and your tiny cries were too hard to resist, so we bought you into our bed and fell asleep as happy as can be. Thinking about that time, it seems almost dreamlike. When I put you to bed this evening I whispered in your ear, telling you about that night and how much joy you have bought to our lives since you arrived; how you've made the last year the best ever and how much we completely adore you.

Over the last month Josephine has changed beyond belief. Everyday she can say something new and surprises us with her developmental changes and intelligence. She now happily proclaims "hello" whenever she walks into a room, and over the last couple of days has started saying "bye" too when leaving. She can do even more impressive animal noises (including snorting like a pig and cock-a-doodle-do-ing!) She mimics almost everything you do and say, sometimes perfectly and sometimes in her own special way. This is most definitely my favourite age so far. I think I must pick her up, squeeze her and proclaim "you're so cute!" at least 50 times a day.

Josephine. You make us laugh ALL the time. You are the sweetest creature and you have made the world a better place just by being here. We love you more than you could know and we can't wait to see all the amazing things you have planned for the next 12 months.

Happy birthday Teeny, love Mama and Papa xxx

We've had the loveliest day in the snow today, just us three, and tomorrow we have a little party planned. I'll be sure to post some pictures of all the festivities over the coming days :)

REFLECTIONS

Later this week, on January 18th, we will be celebrating Josephine's first birthday. Celebrating the complete joy she has bought to our lives, celebrating the incredible little person she is now and is becoming, and celebrating our first year as three; our first year as parents.

No matter what people tell you, the advice you're given, nothing can prepare you for being a parent. The overwhelming love and happiness that fill your heart every second of every day; the changes such a tiny being can bring; the awesome highs and the exhausting lows.

This time last year we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our baby. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl growing in my belly (we thought boy!!) and we were going to bed each day wondering if tonight would be the night our baby would start its journey to be with us (baby was already 5 days late by this point). We had chosen the names, washed all the clothes, set up the baby's corner in our bedroom. Our plans had been made.

But not everything goes exactly to plan when you have a baby.

When I was pregnant I remember seeing Claire's post on the ten commandments she'd set herself when she was pregnant. Reading through them I realised that Ben and I had almost exactly the same ideas. I wondered how, on reflection in the months after our baby was born, we'd have done in obeying our own commandments. So here goes...

1. We will birth our baby naturally and calmly, together as three at home. PASSish. Josephine's birth was beautiful. The most wonderful experience. It was calm and natural, but sadly not at home. These babies of ours have their own plans when it comes to making their way into the world and so Phiney was born in hospital. You can read our full birth story here.
2. I will breastfeed our baby, absolutely without doubt. FAIL. Wow, that seems so harsh on myself given everything we went through. But it's the truth. In all honestly I'm not sure I'll get complete closure on the issue until we have another baby and (keeping all fingers and toes crossed) I breastfeed with success. I could write a whole post regarding my feelings about breastfeeding, one year on. Maybe I will. In the meantime, read the whole story here. I just re-read it and my heart broke a little. And then I read all your amazing, supportive comments and it mended a bit. You guys are just awesome.
3. We will use cloth nappies as much as possible. PASSish. At home we use them a lot, but the truth is, for us, disposables are just so much easier when you're out and about. And in the depths of winter, when it takes 3 days for nappies to dry, it's hard. But our plan was to use reuseables as much as possible and I believe we do that. Most of the time.
4. Vintage stores and the charity shop will be the main source of clothing and toys for our little one. PASS. With flying colours, I might add. Apart from gifts and the odd bargain sale piece, the only things that aren't vintage, secondhand or handmade in Josephine's wardrobe are basics. Tights, vests, t-shirts and leggings. Go me.
5. All food will be made with our own fair hands. PASSish. I would say 98% of the food Phiney eats is handmade. It is with great pride I write this, especially given that until around 5 months ago, I could barely boil an egg (Ben's the cook - and a bloody good one - in this house). Now I am the maker of most of her meals.
6. Baby will fit in with our routine, not the other way round. FAIL. Ha! This may have worked until Phiney was around 5 months old, but when we implemented a more structured nap and bedtime routine, it went completely out the window.
7. There will be no TV watching, especially children's channels. Instead we will read and play games. PASS/FAIL. In those first few months, when Josephine would feed then sleep, feed then sleep, I watched a lot of TV. Seriously, a lot. Thank goodness for Netflix. But as she started to play games and be more aware, I was pretty good at keeping the TV off. Today, I'd say the TV is mostly off but sometimes, when we've had a bad night, early morning or a grumpy baby I need a bit of adult company in the day. And Jamie's 15/30 Minute Meals is pure research ;)
8. We will go for a walk at least once a day. PASS. We love our walks. To the park, along the canal, to the shops. Everyday, at least once. It is always a joy to walk and talk to our little bird.
9. We will not clear shelves or move fragile pieces from easily accessible places. PASS. Sure there are days, when I've said 'no' a thousand times, that it is tempting to move picture frames and ceramic pots and cds and game consoles onto higher ground, but ultimately Phiney is doing really well at understanding there are some things she's just not allowed to play with. I'm particularly pleased with passing this one.  
10. We will not use a dummy. PASS/FAIL. Although I feel saying 'pass' is a total cheat. We bought a whole host of dummies when Phiney was born and we discovered that she very loudly made her dislike of being put down known to us. Unfortunately she refused every. Single. One. Now I see it as a blessing (no difficult weaning needed) but at the time we would have loved it if she'd happily kept one in her mouth! 

On the whole I think we've done rather well. Sure, there are a lot pass/fails but heck, I'll take that. High fives to us.

ps. There will be a whole lot more on the subject of my learning to cook and our love of secondhand fashion in a new series I'm going to start next week.

Picture by Tori

2/52

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2013".

Helping to build a very special present. I love that it looks like she really is measuring up. It's a serious job being a Papa's assistant, don't you know.

Taking part in Jodi's 52 Project.

DELIGHTS

With Christmas and birthdays come gorgeous gifts, pretty wrappings and awesome things in the post...

#1 The very sweet Lottie sent us some of her gorgeous DearIvy note cards just before Christmas - perfect for all the thank you notes set to be sent this month. Such a lovely design. 

#2, 3 & 4 Father Christmas lucked out and and found this beautiful hand-woven eco-wicker pram for Josephine and her doll Jenny, who my grandparents actually  gave to me when I was 19 months old and who I've adored ever since. After Josephine took a shine to my cousin's daughter's dolly a few months ago, I dug her out and it makes me very happy to see the joy she now brings to Phiney. I made the quilt and pillow from antique embroidery and lace and my Mum knitted Jenny some of the sweetest dolls' clothes and packed them into a little hamper. My sister found such a lovely wooden plate and cutlery set and there have been tea parties a-plenty round here in the last week. Building blocks, wooden puzzles, cuddly toys, books and clothes completed her rather impressive haul.

#5 For me, the favourites were this amazing Raven from Story North (thank you beautiful husband) and a Donna Wilson stamp set from my Mum. And I can't wait to start adding bits and pieces to the Cath Kidston scrapbook Josephine gave me too. Hunter wellies, a gorgeous handmade apron, another Paumes book for the collection, clothes and DIY store vouchers (we're redecorating our kitchen soon, wahoo!) made me a very happy bunny this Christmas. While he had lots of lovely goodies, I think Ben was most impressed with Josephine's choice of gift. The Beatles' Blue and Red Albums on vinyl; to continue her musical education of course.

#6 A truly fantastic collection of vintage knitting patterns from my sweet friend Amy. So many things I want for Josephine in their pages...which to choose first?

#7 January is a busy old month for birthdays in my family. Yesterday it was my beautiful sister's 27th, today was my Nan's 70th (man, I hope I look that good and am just as sprightly when I'm 70!)  and next Friday is Phiney's 1st (WHAT?!). Happy happy birthdays to Dora and Nan, we love you both lots xx

What were your favourite gifts this year?

1/52

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2013". 

Often so deep in thought, taking in every aspect of the world around her. 

Yes, we're also taking part in the fast becoming phenomenon that is Jodi's 52 Project. With Phiney's last Monthly Portrait in two weeks, I was looking for another way to document her over the coming year and this seemed perfect. I can't wait to see the portraits we snap over the coming weeks and months. 

PARK LIFE: wellies

Just as I was about to fork out a small fortune for wellies that were teeny enough for our little bird and her teeny feet, our local charity shop called to me and I found these second hand treasures buried deep in a basket full of woolly hats and mittens. All for the grand sum of £1.20.

With Ben back at work on Monday after a blissful 16 day holiday, we made sure we packed the day with family fun including a welly road test and catch up with some lovely friends at the park and a trip to the DIY store for compost and inspiration for Josephine's first birthday present. More of which to come in the next few weeks...

It was the sweetest day with my loves.

I love her snarly face. Mama's fault for preventing Daddy putting her in the swing in order to take some pictures. And her gripping onto Ben's finger. Melt!

2012: it was a very good year

When I'm old and grey, and sitting in a comfy chair next to Ben looking back on our lives, there will be years that stand out as the best. Those life-changing times, when new adventures began.

The year 2000 will be one of those years. The year I met my love, my best friend, my soul mate. That year finished with my boy telling me he loved me for the first time, on New Years Eve. And I told him I loved him too, and I did with all my being. I had the same butterflies in my tummy then, when we spoke those words to each other, as I do when we say them now. That year I started a journey that would shape the course of my whole life.

In 2010, I married my boy. We wrote our vows to each other and spoke them in front of our friends and family; in front of all the people we love and who have helped shaped us as individuals and as a couple. As the rain poured down outside, inside the wonder of happiness kept us all warm and we laughed and danced and ate until the early hours. That was a magical day, and it was a magical year.

In 2012 we welcomed the most beautiful creature into this world and into our lives. On January 18th Josephine joined our little family. We had been dreaming about her, and talking about her and planning her arrival for many years, from so early in our relationship. And now here she is. More wonderful and lovely and sweet and hilarious than we could have ever imagined. Our hearts burst with love and happiness when we see her and it is a true honour to call her our daughter. To be her parents.

The pictures of my two loves up there are some of my favourites from this year (not including these shots, all of which are some of my favourites!). Learning how to use my camera a little better has been awesome and looking back on these photos, I really do think I have captured some of the moments from the year that we'll cherish forever.

Who knows what 2013 will hold. I hope we'll take more trips, discover new places and enjoy some spontaneous adventures. I plan to take more pictures, and get better at doing it. To spend more time crafting and baking with our little one and to build Happy Circus and start new exciting ventures. Maybe we'll even think about making our little family of three a family of four.

Whatever the next 12 months hold, I know they'll be awesome. How can they not be when I'm sharing them with the two most incredible beings on the planet :)